Today is the first day of Lent. The practice of abstaining from a specific joyful activity for 40 days. Not everyone participates, but I think most moms can relate to the sacrifice after going through 40 weeks of pregnancy without alcohol, lunch meat and pooping.
I always participate. Except when I was pregnant. Then I didn’t because well, quite frankly, it was dangerous to promise to give something up, what with all the raging hormones and erratic cravings.
Usually though I end up giving up something like fast food (anything with a drive-thru, so pizza delivered directly to my door doesn’t count). Or Diet Coke. Or something else I’m ridiculously addicted to. But never wine. That would be the ultimate challenge and it was already tested during those 40 long weeks of gestation.
My husband on the other hand gave up beer one year and meat another. He loves a good challenge, I guess. He did marry me, after all.
Anyway, last year, I shared with you the 10 things I WISH I could kick to the curb for 40 days. Most of those things still apply – like calorie counting, cold weather, cleaning and yes, the dreaded hot dog song that sticks in your head and plays over and over and over, forever and ever, amen.
Or dog slobber. Is there anything grosser than stepping in something wet with socks on? Doubtful.
Or my husband’s snoring. Although I did discover that a swift kick to the shin works wonders. It’s like magic, y’all!
At least Justin Beiber changed his stupid hairstyle and with it went that annoying twitch he did every 2 seconds so he could actually see. That will save a lot of young guys from rather large chiropractor bills someday. Hey! Maybe he reads my blog! hmmm In that case, the skinny jeans have got to go, Justin! Seriously.
But enough about what I want. Today, some of my favorite humorists are sharing what they would like to forgo this year. These ladies are hilarious! Be sure to head over to their blogs for more ridiculously funny antics when you’re done here.
Leslie – The Bearded Iris
Plucking my unruly chin hair. Although if I did give that up for 40 days, it would be the most blessed Easter ever for my husband and children…once they rescue me from the Traveling Circus, that is.
Meredith – The Mom of the Year
This is a tough sacrifice, but for Lent, I would be willing to give up all the sweet judgmental glares from other people when my kids are acting up in public. Not that the toddler temper-tantrums themselves aren’t a delight, but having people shoot you “You’re a sucky parent” daggers take it up to the next level of super-fun. This will be hard to give up because I can’t think of anything that makes me feel more arrived as a parent. But hey, Lent is all about sacrifices. If you really twisted my arm, I might be willing to give up the actual temper tantrums too…
Paige – There’s More Where That Came From
If I could give up anything this Lent, I’d immediately stop getting up before the crack of dawn. As penance, I’d hold a day long intensive course for the twins, on how to make breakfast, not open my door, or stare at me until I woke up.
Anna – My Life and Kids
I am giving up visits to the grocery store with kids – which might mean we’re all starving to death by the time Easter arrives. Or, more likely, it will mean that I see the pizza guy more than my husband.
Autism with a Side of Fries
I’d love to give up “having to drive my kid anywhere after school. No lessons, no appointments, no therapies. No Mom’s taxi service!”
Susan – Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
Laundry. I’d love to give up laundry for forty days, but in reality, I usually don’t go more than forty hours between loads. It might not be so bad if in addition to the washer and dryer I had a folder and put-awayer. I’m still waiting for someone to invent those last two.
Robyn – Hollow Tree Ventures
Hmm, so many things I’d like to kick to the curb, what to choose… I guess, most of all, I wish I could give up my New Years resolutions for Lent. Oh wait, I already did that on January 3rd? Okay, then for Lent I’ll give up changing diapers. And folding laundry. And weekday mornings when it’s still dark out and the car has to be dug out from under three feet of new snow. And cooking. And dishes. And wearing contacts, which are usually semi-permanently adhered to my eyeballs in the morning after I pass out on the couch from exhaustion.
Jen – People I Want to Punch in the Throat
For Lent I’m sure my mother would like me to give up swearing, but that’s f@cking crazy. Instead, I would like to give up laundry. It seems like no matter how many loads I do there is always more waiting to be washed and even more waiting to be folded. My house looks like a 24 hour laundromat. I would also like to give up sex with the Hubs. He complains incessantly that he doesn’t get enough lovin’ and I think a 40 day dry spell might make him appreciate his twice a week romps.
What do you WISH you could abstain from for 40 days? Share it in a comment below!