Real Moms Share: What We Wish We Could Give Up for Lent

lentpin itToday is the first day of Lent. The practice of abstaining from a specific joyful activity for 40 days. Not everyone participates, but I think most moms can relate to the sacrifice after going through 40 weeks of pregnancy without alcohol, lunch meat and pooping.

I always participate. Except when I was pregnant. Then I didn’t because well, quite frankly, it was dangerous to promise to give something up, what with all the raging hormones and erratic cravings.

Usually though I end up giving up something like fast food (anything with a drive-thru, so pizza delivered directly to my door doesn’t count). Or Diet Coke. Or something else I’m ridiculously addicted to. But never wine. That would be the ultimate challenge and it was already tested during those 40 long weeks of gestation.

My husband on the other hand gave up beer one year and meat another. He loves a good challenge, I guess. He did marry me, after all.

Anyway, last year, I shared with you the 10 things I WISH I could kick to the curb for 40 days. Most of those things still apply – like calorie counting, cold weather, cleaning and yes, the dreaded hot dog song that sticks in your head and plays over and over and over, forever and ever, amen.

Or dog slobber. Is there anything grosser than stepping in something wet with socks on? Doubtful.

Or my husband’s snoring. Although I did discover that a swift kick to the shin works wonders. It’s like magic, y’all!

At least Justin Beiber changed his stupid hairstyle and with it went that annoying twitch he did every 2 seconds so he could actually see. That will save a lot of young guys from rather large chiropractor bills someday. Hey! Maybe he reads my blog! hmmm In that case, the skinny jeans have got to go, Justin! Seriously.

But enough about what I want. Today, some of my favorite humorists are sharing what they would like to forgo this year. These ladies are hilarious! Be sure to head over to their blogs for more ridiculously funny antics when you’re done here.

Leslie – The Bearded Iris 
Plucking my unruly chin hair. Although if I did give that up for 40 days, it would be the most blessed Easter ever for my husband and children…once they rescue me from the Traveling Circus, that is.

Meredith – The Mom of the Year 
This is a tough sacrifice, but for Lent, I would be willing to give up all the sweet judgmental glares from other people when my kids are acting up in public.  Not that the toddler temper-tantrums themselves aren’t a delight, but having people shoot you “You’re a sucky parent” daggers take it up to the next level of super-fun.  This will be hard to give up because I can’t think of anything that makes me feel more arrived as a parent.  But hey, Lent is all about sacrifices.  If you really twisted my arm, I might be willing to give up the actual temper tantrums too…

Paige – There’s More Where That Came From
If I could give up anything this Lent, I’d immediately stop getting up before the crack of dawn. As penance, I’d hold a day long intensive course for the twins, on how to make breakfast, not open my door, or stare at me until I woke up.

Anna – My Life and Kids
I am giving up visits to the grocery store with kids – which might mean we’re all starving to death by the time Easter arrives. Or, more likely, it will mean that I see the pizza guy more than my husband.

Autism with a Side of Fries
I’d love to give up “having to drive my kid anywhere after school. No lessons, no appointments, no therapies. No Mom’s taxi service!”

Susan – Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
Laundry.  I’d love to give up laundry for forty days, but in reality, I usually don’t go more than forty hours between loads.  It might not be so bad if in addition to the washer and dryer I had a folder and put-awayer. I’m still waiting for someone to invent those last two.

Robyn – Hollow Tree Ventures
Hmm, so many things I’d like to kick to the curb, what to choose… I guess, most of all, I wish I could give up my New Years resolutions for Lent. Oh wait, I already did that on January 3rd? Okay, then for Lent I’ll give up changing diapers. And folding laundry. And weekday mornings when it’s still dark out and the car has to be dug out from under three feet of new snow. And cooking. And dishes. And wearing contacts, which are usually semi-permanently adhered to my eyeballs in the morning after I pass out on the couch from exhaustion.

Jen – People I Want to Punch in the Throat
For Lent I’m sure my mother would like me to give up swearing, but that’s f@cking crazy. Instead, I would like to give up laundry. It seems like no matter how many loads I do there is always more waiting to be washed and even more waiting to be folded. My house looks like a 24 hour laundromat. I would also like to give up sex with the Hubs. He complains incessantly that he doesn’t get enough lovin’ and I think a 40 day dry spell might make him appreciate his twice a week romps.

What do you WISH you could abstain from for 40 days? Share it in a comment below!

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Comments

  1. Savannah Miller says:

    hmmm well if I”m permitted to give up anything for lent I’m going to give up getting up early! For now on I will not wake up before 10am 🙂

  2. Yelling so much. I am going to work on yelling.

  3. Oh, I love this! I would love to give up paying my bills for forty days, but not sure it would work out very good! Sitting in the dark w/no internet service might push me over the edge! haha I do think I will give up Diet Pepsi for Lent. That is going to be a struggle!

  4. I would like to give up everything. lol

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      I think we all have the feeling once in a while. Sometimes it would be nice to just sit and not do ANYTHING!

  5. I would give up being anxious about everything which in turn would let me give up Zoloft! 🙂 I am now going to go fret about this post and what I could have said differently to make it more amusing so more people would read my blog. And also I can’t remember if I put chips in K’s lunchbox this morning. Also if I finished that flyer on Broker J’s new property. Hmmm. I should probably go check that and stop reading & commenting on blogs. 🙂

  6. I’d very much like to give up diapers. Can I only pick one? Maybe it would be better to give up judgements on my parenting from in-laws and childless friends?

  7. Love it! What a great read to start my day!

  8. midwestmom3 says:

    For the next 40 days I would also love to give up paying bills. Of course at the end of Lent we would have no heat,electricity, or house. That would then be a large sacrifice for the Easter season then wouldn’t it? I would also love to give up getting up at 5 a.m. everyday to work out before I have to get everyone up for work and school. However, since I already gave up paying the grocery bill, I guess I don’t have to work out anymore as I don’t have to worry about calories.

  9. I wish I can abstain from tea. What tea to me is like coffee to my husband. Maybe next year, this year we decided to do something together for Lent.

  10. These are awesome – thanks for inviting me over to give stuff up! I’m going to be borrowing everyone else’s lists, too, because there’s so much more I need to sacrifice – like going to the grocery.

  11. I actually would love to give up wine for 40 days! or at least the histamine headache. lol.

  12. I would love to be able to give up: coffee…but this would lead to heavy headaches fro 40 days and I doubt my family would like to have to deal with a cranky me; laundry, which would never happen, sadly enough; how about get myself to stop talking when I am trying to sleep? That would be awesome! But I guess I would have to talk to her first, sargh…can I just sleep for those 40 days?

  13. I wish I could give up dishes! I am not sure why, but I absolutely hate doing the dishes!

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      Me too! We have a dishwasher and I detest loading it. All those dirty dishes and the drain inevitably gets clogged and have to dig those bits out. ewwww Yes, let’s give up dishes!

  14. I wish I knew how to give up eating for comfort.

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      I think that’s a hard one for almost all of us. I would say the majority of my eating is for comfort. Unfortunately.

  15. Oh crap. Now I want a re-write b/c these are all brilliant ideas. Such a fun post! Thanks for including me, and I’m so wowed by the graphic. It’s perfect!

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      Thanks, Meredith! And thanks for playing along! These ladies do have some great ideas, don’t they? Love them!

  16. Thanks for brighten my day! Hilarious….I would give up worrying about my fitness plan. I’m really stuck now…:-(

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      I’m stuck too. I hear you just have to stick it out and it will eventually pay off. *crosses fingers and toes*

  17. Illness…. It’s like I live in a plague house. If one more virus gets in here, I swear…

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      I feel ya! My husband was sick last week and today my daughter woke up with a fever of 102.5. Ugh. I’m ready for spring!

  18. Lol, I’m in agreement with ALL of the above!

    I wish I could give up the unwarranted rudeness from the staff in my local stores & restaurants, like the girl that always seems incredibly inconvenienced when we kindly order our kids’ nutrient-empty Happy Meals. I’m sorry that I assumed, by your 1990’s visor with the restaurant’s logo and your employee name tag, that you worked here. But, I’m probably gonna McDouble-throat-punch you if you sigh, scoff or roll your eyes one more time when my daughter says “chicken nuggets, please.”

    The worst, though, is the young male cashier that makes eye contact after scanning each product with accompanying expressions of confusion, disgust or other non-camoflauged judgment. Sweetheart, when you start dating girls that don’t say YOLO, you’ll be familiar with (and thankful for) Summer’s Eve & Vagisil’s line of products, I promise.

  19. The I termed is public so I’m not going to say what I WISH I could give up lol….
    That being said, I have given up my scale and am hosting a lent challenge. Feel free to link up your post : http://www.afitmess.com/2013/02/going-scale-less-40-day-lent-challenge.html

  20. Lol!! How about I indulge in the ultimate sacrifice and give up all the items that these super-funny ladies chose to give up?!!

  21. OMG – how have I gone this long without your website??? I have 3 small children under the age of 7, and have spent forever laughing over your super relatable posts!! If I could give up something for 40 days, it’d be a tie – I can’t pick just one when I start daydreaming about this…
    1. Laundry, bc I do it EVERY SINGLE DAY, and 2. Give up waiting until 6pm to drink my first glass of wine bc I feel it’s not appropriate to drink before then- so I’d buck that trend and start earlier:)

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      Awww, thanks Jennifer! So sweet!

      Laundry seems to be the popular option. And I have to second your waiting until 6 for wine. Some mornings, I could drink it with my Cocoa Puffs. I mean, really, it’s heart-healthy right?

  22. I am Jewish so I do not practice Lent, but I loved reading this post! I really got a kick out of what some people were saying!

  23. We are Catholic, and celebrate the liturgical season of Lent. In our home, it is our practice to add something that helps to build our faith and our love for others. We are specifically praying for those that we know are in need. The children are working on memorizing the prayers that they need to work on learning. We are contemplating excluding junk food, however, we don’t have complete family agreement on it.

  24. I have Ashes on my forehead and a hungry stomach. I guess it is Lent again. I dream of giving up chauffeuring the kids all day long. Maybe they could do the Bewitched or Star Trek mode of transportation and I’d get to stay home.

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      lol! That would be nice, right! I was watching Total Recall the other day and was wondering how long it would be before there are hovercrafts, if they ever do make them. Somehow though, I don’t think it would make “driving” any easier. I like your idea better!

  25. I’d like to give up working out at the gym for 40 days. I’ll still go but only to hang out in the quiet room and shower in peace and quiet. I wonder if they would frown upon me having a cocktail in the hot tub???

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      ha! If they don’t, I’m totally coming to your gym! If for nothing else, than the peace and quiet while I have some wine!

  26. My absolute favorite is the judgemental glares . I get so tired of that I want to turn around and ask them do you have children. Kids cant be perfect 100% of the time. Great post I pinned it.

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      Oh yeah! I’m the recipient of some nasty glares now, too that I have a “willful” 2-year-old. People need to realize that they’re just children.

      Thanks for pinning it!

  27. If I could give up ANYTHING, I would give up my spare tire haha. Nope, not talking about the one under my car. I would find some anorexic and donate a few pounds 🙂

  28. I’d love to give up waking up at the crack of dawn to drive my kid to school. Sigh, sadly I cannot so I’ll work on giving up the yelling instead.

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      You girls and your giving up yelling. I hope you mean the kids yelling and not yours, because that would be tough! lol

  29. Hmm….I would be give up working late night! Sleep would be awesome!

  30. This is so entertaining! And I will try the kick in the shins for my husbands snoring. I’ve done the hip nudge many times but never a kick. Can’t wait!

  31. Wow! I could give up a lot of things for lent… Like my job, but that would also mean giving up the house, or groceries. Ok, so I probably could give up the groceries, because that would mean I could also give up this fat that has permanently attached itself to me!
    And the husbands snoring… haha!

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      Lot of people here with snoring husbands. Now I don’t feel so bad and it will make refraining from using a pillow on his face to stifle it a little easier!

  32. Late night visits! I used to love the snuggles. But at this point, I would embrace some deep REM sleep.

  33. You sure have great taste in humorists! What a treat to see so many of my friends up there with such funny Lenten sacrifices. And I’m SO with you on the husband snoring. Thanks for including me! Great collaboration! 🙂

  34. I am aware I am VERY late, but I wish I could give up work! And that would then mean that I could give up only sleeping 3 hours at a time….Work is tiring yo! 🙂 Loved this post, love these ladies!

  35. Oh, boy, for the second year in a row, I am going to be working on everything related to speaking: my words, my tone, my VOLUME, everything. It was a challenge from the moment the children woke up on Ash Wednesday, but I will persevere!

    I scribbled “my plan” on a post it and took a picture of it for my blog, you know, for some kind of accountability.

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