After writing about how living with children is like living in a frat house, I got to thinking…taking care of a toddler is, in many ways, like dealing with a drunk person. The emotional highs and lows, uncoordinated movements and lack of volume control, not to mention the fact that you are on suicide watch 24/7 with them, are just a few of the many reasons that toddlers resemble drunk people. By the way, I totally want this glass.
Following are 20 more ways that taking care of a toddler is like dealing with a drunk person. What would you add to this list?
- No personal boundaries
- Falls over A LOT. Gets up, yells “I OK!” and keeps going
- Poor decision making skills
- Spontaneous vomiting
- Speaks gibberish
- Gets belligerent if you take away
their beer[insert favorite toy here]
- Cries for no apparent reason
- Streaking (see #3)
- Philosophical conversations with inanimate objects
- Short attention span
- Poor short term memory
- Zero inhibitions
- Loses everything
- Will pass out anywhere
- One track mind
- Getting them undressed (or redressed) is like wrestling an alligator
- Runs into things that haven’t moved…ever
- One volume setting – LOUD!