By my best estimation, our little diva has had somewhere around 5,400 photos taken of her during her first 18 months. That’s based on a semi-precise count of the images housed in the “Pictures” folder on our computer and the 1,200 or so pics that her momma and I have squirreled away on our iPhones.
That’s an average of 10 pictures per day since the day she was born. And while our photographic efforts have slowed as she’d gotten older, that’s still a staggering amount of images. Especially when you consider that there are probably only 10 pictures of me in my first 10 years.
Despite all of those photos, there still aren’t many of the kind I really want. When she was first born, I half-jokingly wanted to get pictures of her interacting with various objects so that when she grows up to become a successful soccer player or pop singer or veterinarian, we’d be able to point to that picture and say, “Yep, we knew from an early age!”
Think about it. I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Stern have a photo of little Howie at 14 months wearing his father’s stereo headphones and making a fart joke. Martha Stewart’s parents probably have a picture of her taking her first steps in the kitchen while wearing an apron and barking orders at the family cat. And you know there are dozens of pictures of baby Michael Jordan slam dunking over his brother in his living room and being a terrible NBA team owner.
We don’t have pictures like that, so I’ll have to start staging some before she gets too old. Maybe have a “Future Career Photos Day,” where we gather objects from around the house and just start taking pictures.
The diva holding one of daddy’s baseball bats? We knew she’d grow up to be Major League Baseball’s first female player (playing shortstop for the Mets, of course). Or asleep while reading a dusty old legal textbook? That one will serve double duty for a future career in politics or law. Maybe organizing samples of deadly viruses using a high-powered microscope? We’ll pull that one out when she becomes a scientist or doctor.
In the 5,000+ pictures we have of her, we’re really only covered if she becomes a competitive eater, an artist (you saw that one in the blog entry the other day), or a librarian. Or, like the image to the right of her sitting in a conference room chair at daddy’s work, maybe she’ll be a public relations whiz.