MY TOP 10 MOTHER’S DAY WISHES

This past Christmas, I wrote a nice letter to Santa with my very modest wish list (you might have seen it on my personal blog). No matter how many times I had thought my head was gonna explode, I allowed the diva to watch Mickey Mouse. No matter how many times the dog slobbered all over the floor, I resisted the temptation to put him in the front yard with a “free” sign around his neck. And no matter how many times I really could’ve used a margarita, I’d remind myself that although it’s 5:00 somewhere, it’s only 10 a.m. here. As you can clearly see, I had been such a good girl last year and was hoping for a little reprieve. But, lo and behold, that fat bastard didn’t come through for me. So here is my (slightly modified) Christmas wish list that I’m hoping will be fulfilled on Mother’s Day (take note Papa Don’t Preach!).

  • A whole day without stepping on a cheerio, wiping milk off the couch or cleaning up dog slobber.
  • To not hear “no” when I say things like “eat your dinner,” “let’s brush your teeth,” or “nap time.”
  • Quicker, more graceful reflexes so I can for once stop the diva from performing acrobatics on the couch, without breaking my toes on the coffee table.
  • An instantaneous potty training program.
  • For the diva to understand that an appropriate response to “no climbing in the windowsill” is not fake crying.
  • A time machine so I can kick Eric Carle’s ass right after he wrote Brown Bear, Brown Bear.
  • A day without smelling cheese, bad doggy breath or poo.
  • To not have to pull paper, cords or a piece of  “eww, what is that?!” out of the diva’s mouth.
  • The ability to read minds so I can finally figure out what the diva wants when she points at the floor and screams.
  • To not have to wipe markers and paint off the floor, walls and cat.

What’s on your Mother’s Day wish list?

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Comments

  1. My wish is to sleep in without hearing any complaining from my hubby. Just to get up when I feel like it. This is just a wish it will never actually happen. Even when he does get up he has 100 questions about what he should do so I end up getting up anyway. MEN…they are so incompetent 🙂 How did they survive before marriage?

  2. I just saw the definition I love the “See also” part. LOL where do you find this stuff!?

  3. So yeah, my wish: that it wouldn’t have to be “10 o’clock here” and could be “5 o’clock somewhere” all day–not just the margaritas, but the “ah…made-it-through-the-day blissful feeling” 😉

  4. heather says:

    I too have a similar wish list. Just one day where I wouldn’t have to do EVERYTHING.

  5. My wish list is one I can actually obtain…gonna sit down with a cup of coffee and read your blog from top to bottom including all the hilarious comments! This is where I come to relax, unwind and smile/chuckle!

  6. Ashley - Embracing Beauty says:

    How fun! I shared my top 10 favorite quotes about mothers in honor of Mother’s Day on my blog. I guess 10 is the number of choice! 🙂 http://embracingbeauty.com/2012/05/13/my-10-favorite-quotes-about-mothers-2/

  7. L-O-V-E this post! It made me giggle! Oh I can think of so many times I almost put our dog and cat outside with a free sign and if I catch myself singing the “hotdog song” while I am cleaning one more time I may die!

  8. To not have to cut up a meal into teeny tiny pieces for once!

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