I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… potty training is the bane of my existence! It’s the nemesis behind the 5 extra pounds I carry around on my ass from “just one more glass of wine” at the end of the long, long days.
We’ve tried a princess potty. The big potty. Reading books about the potty. Reading books about the potty while on the potty. We’ve tried distracting her with Mickey. Bribery with candy. Promises of extra “chocolate cookie ice cream” after dinner. Cajoling. Demanding. Pleading.
I’m at a loss.
All the well meaning comments are getting a little cumbersome, too.
My kid was potty trained at 18 months. Awesome. Wanna potty train this one?
Isn’t it about time to potty train? Whaaa you mean I have to teach her that??
Isn’t she potty trained yet? Nah, we figured we’d wait and let her husband do it.
This girl… this girl is so strong-willed and has her mind made up that she just doesn’t want to sit her tiny little tushy on the porcelain throne. Before, she would sit and sit and sit for as long as I asked her. She only went a couple of times, but still, she planted her butt and didn’t move! Now, you’d think we’re trying to make her sit on a potty straight out of a horror movie.
Me: Come sit on the potty.
Me I’ll give you candy…
Me: Dora sits on the big girl potty
Diva: *blank stare*
Me: And Minnie and Mickey
Diva: I donnn wanna
Me: *takes her hand* Come on, just for a minute.
Diva: *commences screaming and kicking*
Me: Just stop…stop kicking!
Me: OK. Fine! But eventually you will have to sit on the potty.
Diva: I peed in my diapy
Me: *bangs head on wall*
In the end, I am sweaty and weepy. The neighbors are peeking out their windows. The dog’s ears are bleeding. Based on her reaction, you’d think the toilet was going to flush her down to live in the sewers forever and ever. It’s really very dramatic. Of course, would you expect anything less from “the diva”?
So, tell me, short of using duct tape, how the hell do you get your kids to sit on the potty?!