Guest Post: Dreading the Teengage Drama

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I’m so happy to be hosting the hilarious Mom of the Year today. Fellow wine lover and non-chef, the Mom of the Year is my kind of girl! She’s super “classy” and a total rockstar.

In her own words…

While I can’t promise to always be funny, I do promise to always try to see the humor in things.  I also vow to never load you up on fancy recipes or cool DIY craft tricks–because I don’t know any.  And if you can’t appreciate a little self-depreciating humor, you may want to look elsewhere.  I definitely don’t “have it all down” and never will, but I do regularly award myself with The Mom of the Year award for the astoundingly fantastic parenting skills I wield on a daily basis.  

So keep scrolling and read why she is dreading the teenage years, then hop over to her blog and read her other very funny entries.

Dreading the Teenage Drama


Trying to embrace this…

One of my favorite things about Motherhood on the Rocks is the way she refers to her daughter as “The Diva.”  She’s so spot-on using this title!  Diva-ism is apparently an innate trait with our little girls today.  They learn to rock the attitude before they can even walk or talk.  While my 14 mo. daughter’s sass is now thickly veiled in cuteness, I got to thinking the other day…what about when it’s annoying and not so cute any more?  What about when it’s downright insanity-inspiring?  Ugh, the drama when my daughter officially emerges out as a…(gasp!) teenage diva!

After the initial hyperventilation of my panic attack abated some, I reassured myself that though the teenage-ism appears to continually show up earlier and earlier with kids (apparently preschoolers now have proms?), I should have at least another couple months before my daughter can get her driver’s permit, so I have a little time to wrap my head around the things I’m dreading, right?

So what is topping my list of dread?

  • If she asks to buy a pair of designer jeans, I may go ape on her.  There are two reason for this, both entirely selfish. One, are you kidding me?  Despite years of working, I can only afford to cover my rear in generic mom jeans.  Get a job, sweetheart and then buy all the True Religion your heart desires…Secondly, I’ll admit it–I’m just going to be flat-out jealous that her sweet little tush can squeeze into the designer jeans.
  • Trying to discuss the evils of sexting with her since I don’t even understand what it is.  I know, I know, I’m lame.  We didn’t have texting on our phones until a month ago, and somehow in between all the poopy diapers and temper tantrums, exploring this trend hasn’t exactly been on the top of our list…
  • Staying up until she comes home?  Whaaa?  I sense epic fail as a parent here since I can’t make it up past 9pm without nodding off.  And I’m guessing that might be a slightly unreasonable time for curfew?
  • “Don’t get pregnant”  Aside from all of the obvious very-serious related issues, when I blow the baby and young kid years, I would really love to have sizeable chunk of time before I could even think about mustering the energy for grandparenting.
  • This one isn’t a “dread”, but would really make me giggle.  Please, please run out of pads or tampons in a situation that would require your father to go buy some for you.  I know this would be very weird for both of you, but it would be so fun to watch him writhe in the horrendous awkwardness.  Be sure to tell him in detail exactly which ones you need him to get.

Mmmh…now that I’m totally freaked out, I think I need to just give my baby girl a squeeze and we’ll play with blocks.  Seems like plenty of drama is yet to come 😉

What horrors have you lived through if you’ve already survived (or are battling through) the teenage years?  Or if you are still in the young kid scene like Motherhood on the Rocks and me, what teenage drama are you dreading??

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  1. Yeah, I’m trying not to think about what that’s going to be like. I think the whole being able to fit in jeans that would only fit one of my arms up to the elbow may be hardest..sigh.

  2. Aaah! Excuse me while I have a small panic attack….I don’t really get what “sexting” is either but it freaks me out to think about it! My husband is a very protective father to “daddy’s little girl”. He is ALREADY worried about when she starts dating. I think I’m more nervous about how he will cope than about my daughter’s eventual teenage diva-dom.

  3. My boyfriend has a teenage daughter and the words “permanent chastity belt” has come across in a few conversations! She is 5’8 is gorgeous and the boys are drooling. Yeah teenage drama, YIKES!

  4. My daughter is a teen and my husband has bought her feminine products on many occasions. It isn’t as funny as you might imagine – if your husband is like mine, anyway. He doesn’t act the least bit bothered by it. Bleh…I was hoping for at least slight humiliation, lol.


  5. Jacqui Odell says:

    My youngest daughter is all attitude. I am defiantly dreading the teenage years with her!

  6. My fourteen year old daughter is awesome and my 18 year old son was easy through the teen years (he was a very difficult boy). The thing that saves my sanity is ATT Family Map. As long as their cell phones are turned on I can locate them. If not for that I would have been a jittery mess when my son drove himself to Los Angeles last weekend! Well, more of a jittery mess than I already was…..

  7. The girls are all growing up to fast these days, and all seem to be little “diva’s”, scary glad raising mine is over, and I survived. Chances are you will also, 🙂

  8. I have two daughters and my husband is thinking about adding a third kid into the mix. I told him it will be a girl. I just know it, but he seems to think it will be a boy. I asked him what he would do with THREE teenage girls. He is the kind of dad who will have a shotgun sitting in the closet, so I can’t imagine how much of a nervous wreck he will be all the time when they turn 13, especially considering how I was as a teen. :/

  9. I have two boys so I don’t think their teenage years will be so stressful…aside from eating the entire month’s groceries in a sitting (my boys are 18mths apart so I will have a house full of teenage boys whenever they have their friends over). The only thing that would drive me off the wall is if they get a girl pregnant, then they’ll have to hear me (and be responsible for it)…

    I simply can’t wait for the day when I can flat out embarras them infront of their crush, date, and friends!! I can’t wait for the first “Mom!! You are embarrassing me!!” Oh, this is going to be so much fun!

    • Fun perspective! Embarrassing them will definitely be a highlight 🙂 And maybe start stocking up that pantry now. Seriously, how in the world do they meet that much?!

  10. Hilarious! I lived through the teenage girl drama but it was rough my son is now a teen and I haven’t had much drama with him at all. I am a ‘tell it like it is’ mom which is embarrassing for him I am sure but I tell him the truth and point out the stupid things people do like sexting with photos etc. It is much harder with all the technology these days than when I was a teen.

    • I agree–it is so much more complicated now. We never even had cell phones when I was a teen, much less all this fuss about sexting and the like. Glad things are going well with your son!

  11. Someone told me girls are easier as toddlers and boys are easier as teenagers. SOOOO I am happy I don’t have to deal with a teenage girl. I know how i was.

  12. Oh, with my fourteen year old, we’re pretty light on the teenage drama. Yeah, he’s got the same girlfriend he’s had for nearly two years. He does his own school clothes shopping by being handed a wad of cash and told that it’s his, and he comes back with good choices. (Of course, we’ve been doing that method for a few years, so he’s used to that, too.)

  13. I am so scared for the teenage years with Hayley- for real! YOu are so right with this post but I am so afraid anyway. Hayley once asked me to buy these jeans at Nordstorms. I saw the price and looked at her with two heads. And so it starts..

  14. For me, the teenage years for one of my kids is almost here, but in reality, they’re pretty much already here. She’s ten, and she’s got attitude for 10 of her. It does get tiring, but in the end, I still love her with every thing that I am. We haven’t dealt with sexting (UGH!), or pregnancy, but those aren’t too far away. I don’t want to imagine any of those scenarios happening, but I can’t say that they won’t. I’ll be sure to discourage her as much as I can from those things. The designer clothes? So far, that isn’t even an issue. Go get the girl a pair of jeans from Walmart, or even the Salvation Army, and she’s good. She just doesn’t care…yet. lol

    • Ugh about the attitude–I’m so not looking forward to that! But very awesome about her clothing choices–Walmart and Salvation Army sound spot-on for me! Good luck as you keep pressing through these years 🙂

  15. My husband had to go buy panty liners (with a very detailed description and even a picture of the old packaging) for MY MOTHER when she was staying with us recovering from foot surgery. She originally thought she’d be here a week max, and it ended up being three weeks, so her supply was dwindling. Now THAT’S awkward.

    • Snorting, Sue, snorting away…this is one of the funniest most awkward things ever. AND your poor husband has two girls on his hands, so he may be having a lot of feminine product purchasing in his future. Send him my sympathies 🙂

  16. Thank goodness I never had any girls. Boys were hard enough.

  17. You are always such fun Meredith, and you get to the point!! My daughter is 3 and a half, she wants to be called “princess” and throws tantrums when I get her dressed in any other colour than pink. When my husband gets her dressed, she asks: “do you think this colour matches that?”.She’s already a drama queen, so I really don’t know what to expect when she grows up!!help!!!!!

  18. Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

    Oh you guys crack me up! I have a drama queen on my hands too! She has to pick out her clothes, which is always something pink and hates to be dirty. I’m definitely not looking forward to the teen years!

  19. Yeah…I’m happy that I have boys….I’ll have the hubs deal with them and they won’t even have the tampon issue!! 😀

  20. Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

    I’m definitely going to need a glass of wine (or 2) tonight after thinking about all of these girl talks I’m gonna have to have in a few years…

  21. I may not have a girl, but I’ve heard boys can be real drama llamas too! I think I can apply all of these fears with Leo when he grows up. 🙂

  22. I’m going to make one statement. I have FOUR girls. Someone pass the vino!

  23. My daughter is 12 and is actually quite a breath of fresh air…. most days. She’s not into name brand clothes, she prefers yoga pants and my wore out sneakers and tees. She’s into art/painting/crafts, doesn’t spend hrs on the phone/internet and maintains decent grades. What kills me is this, “I can’t do it…” attitude she adopts from time to time. With homework I’ve seen her do, with food I’ve seen her make and chores a toddler could handle. I’m trying to smoosh into her pretty little head that working is not a bad thing and laziness gets you no where but this may take some time!

  24. Yea, the teenage years. I remember them all too well (and it’s not pretty).
    I was putting my oldest on the school bus for the first time only a month after my youngest (my 4th daughter) was born.
    Yea. 4 daughters born between Sept 1982 and July 1987.
    4 little divas running rampant through my home.
    4 teenagers (a.k.a…the voices of Satin) in the mall wanting everything too inappropriate to wear to school.
    I’m 50 now, drained of most of the blood I was born with, and addicted to hair color and wine.
    One of my daughters was lucky enough to have a boy and smart enough to stop there.
    One of my daughters has chosen to remain a favorite aunt (so far).
    Between my two remaining daughters, I have 5 granddaughters (all divas…hehehe!). All I can say to them is…Karma’s a Bit*&.
    Love your post! Brings back some memories I’ve tried very hard to supress ;o)

  25. I taught hubby to get me sanitary products when needed as I never did drive, so when it came Ambers time he was well trained and did as he was asked. Amazing isnt it. You just start them out right away, soon as you are married. Dont snicker or grin, act like this is second nature for every husband. Teenage boys would terrify me when they get drivers licenses, and they are usually the first to try drinking . Its not easy being a parent at any time to any child. The lazy thing with the smart and talented girl i think is just a bid to say she is a an entity unto herself, not an extension of mom and she wants to be messy and lazy like other teens. Such is life! Decide where you must draw the lines. Remember getting along may be worth more than a clean room etc. As a teen Amber didnt want to do anything that mom did. Now she does everything that mom does and more, cooking, crafts, kid, hubby and on top of that has a job. They do grow up in spite of us. I hope all of you find your children will turn in to real people of value and worth, even if they dont have the cleanest rooms.

  26. Wow, I’m in the thick of it right now!!! My girls are 17 and 15. The younger is more of a diva – wants to shop ALL the time! I totally embarrass them on my blog. The hardest part is they don’t want to be seen with you anymore, and sometimes can really hurt your feelings.
    Once we were in the Walgreens parking lot. The youngest was in the backseat, and the oldest and I went in. When we came out, of course the youngest had taken the front seat spot. It was after a LONG day, and it was literally 5 minutes home, so I told the older to get in the back. She sat on the curb in the parking lot and wouldn’t budge. I was in the car waiting for her. I took away her phone, and told her for every 30 seconds that passed was another day she couldn’t have her phone. We counted up to a week, and she still wouldn’t budge. If it hadn’t been at night, I might’ve left her there. Somehow I got her in the car, but she never gave in. It was a blur. Just like the toddler years! Love your blog! Will follow!

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