DRIVING MISS CRAZY

Like most stay-at-home moms I spend my days wiping up splattered milk and singing kid’s songs until I end up looking a little something like this ——>.

After spending 10 years in the world of meetings and deadlines, I can officially say that parenting is the most difficult, demanding, exhausting, patience-testing job ever. Unless you wear camo, scrubs, or a badge to work, or until your boss stands over you pooping her pants and screaming at you to work faster without telling you exactly what she wants you to do, your job is a cakewalk.

And like most stay-at-home moms, I don’t get out much. Nor do I get much time to myself. The people at Target probably think I’m nutso due to the fact that I now walk around like a kid in a candy store, oohing and aahing over toilet bowl cleaner. Look out if you end up somewhere even more exciting with me. Tip of the iceberg people. Tip. of. the. iceberg.

So for the sake of the public’s sanity and to prevent myself from getting banned from yet another store (kidding…maybe), I do what most mother’s want to do – get the hell out of dodge! OK, I embellish some. But I do take a daily drive. It’s a time when it’s just me and fifty THOUSAND other idiots in a hurry to get nowhere the open road. No screaming toddler. No Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. No dirty socks and stinky diapers. Nothing to think about except the shitty music on the radio. (How many times do I have to listen to Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger?! I really need to get the iTrip.) Anyway, I digress. Yes, driving has become my outlet.

So stay-at-home moms, work-at-home moms, work-outside-the-home moms, where-the-hell-are-my-kids moms, tell me: how do you get some much needed daily “me time”? Need some ideas? Thought you might. Here are five. It’s amazing what just 15 minutes of quiet can do for your mental stability.

  1. Mutter something about needing milk and bread. Grab the keys and hit the road.
  2. Feign stomach cramps and take a good book to the bathroom. Don’t forget to lock the door!
  3. Grab some Tylenol and head to the bedroom rubbing your temples. See above about that darn door.
  4. Put on some sneakers and run, walk, dance, or swear at Jillian. It’s a good way to work off a lot of pent up frustrations.
  5. And my personal favorite, sneak outside with a glass of wine. Ahhhh!
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Comments

  1. I put on Dora or Diego and zone out. But now my Mr. Bossy refuses to let me lay down, he is only happy if I sit with him and get excited about everything but I have managed to master doing that while being totally zoned out. Oh or a shower…an extra long shower. I also sometimes take 30 minutes to myself after work before I pick him up from daycare.

  2. I’m with you and the driving! After school, I sometimes even drive around so that my 7-year-old and my 4-year-old (who, of course, isn’t in school) will fall asleep for at least an hour. I’m actually typing this as I sit in my car with my sleeping children (in the driveway).

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      lol! A friend of mine used to take a drive and then read a book when her baby would fall asleep. Mothers are the most innovative people in the world!

  3. I like option number five! Sometimes my husband declares ‘date night’ and we send the kiddos to their rooms early, so we can enjoy grown up shows and a glass of wine.

  4. I usually have at least one of my 4 with me when I go for a ride…most of the time it’s all 4. While it isn’t a real and true break, I do prefer them strapped in and unable to crawl all over me some days. If I’m lucky, I can even get one or two to fall asleep!

    As for escape plans . . .#2 works but usually I tell the kids we are going to play hide and seek and find a REALLY good hiding place . . .Like the garage or in the car or under my bed. :)

  5. heather says:

    ME time is when lil man goes to bed. I like to curl up with a good book ,catch up on my Words with Friends games and watch anything on TV BUT Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      Yes, unfortunately my time comes when the diva is finally in bed. But at least it’s time.

  6. I’m impressed you can find peace on the road – all I ever seem to encounter is traffic!

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      Yes, lots of traffic, but no screaming. No Dora. No one hanging on you. It’s not too bad.

  7. heheheh – oh my…I do some of those things. My specialty is period cramps – I can lay down and let the man of the land take over. It’s awesome. And that cartoon sketch cracked me up. You are talented.

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      Thanks! I didn’t actually draw it, but it is hilarious. Cramps is also a great idea! You guys are the creative ones!

  8. I can totally relate, my toddler is 1. However, I’m 6 months pregnant again so a glass of wine for an escape is not an option at this time. In fact, I haven’t found an outlet yet and all of my pre-mommy-friends have abandoned me. Apparently, I’m no fun unless I’m half-naked and drunk dancing around a smokey club spilling drinks on everyone. I live in Texas too, so taking a walk isn’t an option because it’s Africa-hot here. I’m about to go looney and my husband just doesn’t get it (while he’s out of town on a guy’s trip for the weekend). Sorry, to complain on your blog, but it sounds like you would understand. Maybe I’ll try your idea about sneaking out for a drive. Good luck with your sanity.

    XO.

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      awww…you need to find an escape. I totally get how you’re feeling. Tell your husband to sit at home with the kiddo for a day while you go get pampered. I hear prenatal massages are amazing. *hugs*

  9. Ohhhh snap. I feel you & this really made me laugh this afternoon, just when I needed some relief ;)

  10. Tricia @ Take 10 says:

    The first 30 minutes at my desk each day are unproductive. Drinking my chai tea and catching up online. I love it.

  11. I would have so much rather stayed at home, but one time I “ran and errand” to go finish a book in the parking lot of Walmart.

  12. Lol … Well, you’re five steps ahead of me, in my younger years. Thankfully I had great kids, but never was very good at the bedtime/tell-me-about-your-day routine. Just wanted them in bed — ASAP.

    Enjoy your Stay at Home years. The memories will be priceless!

  13. I never got around to getting married and having kids, but I think if I had them and was due for a meltdown, you would probably find me in the car in the garage catching a chapter of a good book LOL. Seriously, they’ll look all over the house, then might look outside for you, but would they think to look in the garage?? And if the answer is yes, at least by the time they’ve done all that searching, you have hopefully finished that next chapter. ;)

  14. I’m commenting again :)
    Sometimes when my husband gets home, I’ll sneak off the the bedroom, turn out the lights, and lock the door and just lay there sometimes falling asleep other times not. He always thinks I don’t feel good when I do that – but I usually feel just fine. lol

  15. Me time, there is such a thing?! I have two very active boys who usually pull me in two separate directions; it is stressful! Nap time is getting shorter and shorter; while the boys sleep I help my husband with his company’s twitter…so I really have no me time…

    If only my bathroom door had a freaking lock! Every time I head that way my boys decide it is time to go knock on the door and run as fast as they can…

  16. Mothers do not get enough credit. It is the toughest job around!

  17. Hilarious!!! But only because it is so stinking true!!!! Seriously! I love your tips for a few minutes of peace and quiet. Oh my goodness, you are so right about locking that stinking door. And even then I still get little fingers poking under the door saying “mommy!”

    Sometimes I just tell my kids “Mommy needs a time out before I explode”. They know to leave me alone. The 3 year old doesn’t though, so sometimes she intrudes on my solitude, but usually she’s nice enough to give me a hug.

  18. Love what you said, how you said it! Beautifully done. We need it!

  19. Your list is sufficient enough for me since #2 and #3 have always worked like a charm. #2 is best if you come out an hour later with air freshner saying, “whew, enter at your own risk folks”… Love your photo, totally made me giggle :).

  20. I love your tips lol. I usually mutter something about cramps, and the rest of the family magically disappears :)

  21. I LOVE THIS POST! We have date nights at home all the time. A nice bottle of wine and a movie- perfecto!

  22. Well My children are older, but I didn’t get any ME time till they were in bed, and even then I was still doing things around the house..

  23. To be honest, I do not really get daily me time….well, I am on the computer right now, but relaxing alone time?? by the time we get the 4 kids to bed my husband wants me to snuggle up with him (no, I am not complaining).

    BUT, if I do get some alone time, I enjoy taking an (uninterrupted bubble bath), reading a good book, or taking a nap (like THAT will ever happen, lol!).

  24. Sadly, I don’t get much me time daily. I do play on Facebook and blog but even its not “me” time because I am getting up every two seconds to do something. Bedtime allows for some time, if I am not exhausted. So I guess, Showers are the only time I get alone time. LOL

  25. Sadly, my “get away” time is only when I’m lucky enough to get to the grocery store without 3 kids in tow! Once in awhile I can convince my husband to keep them home…and I get to sneak out and buy groceries by myself! Woo-hoo!

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