5 Skills Needed to Parent a Toddler

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You know all those baby classes you dutifully attended when you were expecting, the ones where you showed up with your sharpened #2 and 3-ring binder? They were so helpful, right? How to birth, bathe, rock, swaddle, feed the baby. Invaluable lessons for a first-time (or second- or third-time) parent.

Well, where the hell is my toddler class?? Seriously! I think I need some classes to learn a few skills that would be helpful when raising a toddler. Read on for some suggested talents that you mommas-to-be should consider brushing up on.

1. Alligator wrestler – Ever wrestle an alligator? Try diapering an obstinate toddler. Lately I’ve had to learn how to put a diaper on backwards as my 20 month old screams and tries to crawl away from me.

2. Mind reader – Or at least be able to decipher cryptic messages, including “zaa taaaayy!!!!” and “waaaahh!!”

3. Singer/dancer – Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog. Need I say more?

4. Barista and bartender – Trust me. You’ll need both.

5. Lion tamer – I imagine lion tamers as strong, confident and calm in the face of an angry beast. Guess what…Siegfried and Roy ain’t got nothing on me! Oh the tempers!

What talents do you wish you had that would be useful when taming toddlers?

 

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Comments

  1. Love this! And it is soooo true!

  2. Hypnosis would be helpful….. LOL

  3. I think mind reader is the ability I would want (I know you already have it up there) or some sort of Baby to English Dictionary. I never know what he wants to eat or what he wants when he is screaming. Or what he means when he looks up at me and in a questioning tone says “a Bah” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

  4. All too true! I do think when rocking out the hot dog dance though, it would be helpful if somehow moms had the skill to remove the part of their brain which makes excessive repetition of children’s song lyrics noxious–not that we don’t LOVE Mickey Mouse around here 😉

  5. I LOVE this! It is so true and very funny!

  6. LOL… VERY true!!
    And… duct tape isn’t on the list…?? 🙂

  7. Yes I agree with Ronni, you need to know Duct tape!
    I feel like you read my mind with this post. 🙂

  8. This made me LOL. Thanks!

  9. Jagger is my first out of 4 to go through what is called “terrible twos” We have never experienced it before. Quite the shocker! I feel like I am in a rodeo every time I change his diaper – I can’t wait until this kid is potty trained!

  10. My son is Houdini. He can get into or out of anything. I wish I were more prepared for that.

  11. Thank you so much for this post, I loved it..

  12. I don’t have kids, but these can apply to your fur babies too! I know training my critters has never been easy…

  13. So very true!! Loved this post!

  14. this post cracks me up. Toddlers are so much fun aren’t they

  15. Just pinned this! Trying to get as much info before I jump in to being a parent! I remember the toddler years with my siblings and they weren’t fun!

  16. The pic is such an accurate illustration! Lmbo! Seems like a move I’ve pulled on my two-year-old a dozen times. She keeps me busy. Happy, happy SITS day SITStah.

  17. Patience! Lots and lots of patience. Did I mention patience.

  18. Mind reader is right!!! Love this list so funny!

  19. LOL! I love this post! I have twins who are turning 2 this month! I tell my husband dressing them is like wrestling monkeys!

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