You know all those baby classes you dutifully attended when you were expecting, the ones where you showed up with your sharpened #2 and 3-ring binder? They were so helpful, right? How to birth, bathe, rock, swaddle, feed the baby. Invaluable lessons for a first-time (or second- or third-time) parent.
Well, where the hell is my toddler class?? Seriously! I think I need some classes to learn a few skills that would be helpful when raising a toddler. Read on for some suggested talents that you mommas-to-be should consider brushing up on.
1. Alligator wrestler – Ever wrestle an alligator? Try diapering an obstinate toddler. Lately I’ve had to learn how to put a diaper on backwards as my 20 month old screams and tries to crawl away from me.
2. Mind reader – Or at least be able to decipher cryptic messages, including “zaa taaaayy!!!!” and “waaaahh!!”
3. Singer/dancer – Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog. Need I say more?
4. Barista and bartender – Trust me. You’ll need both.
5. Lion tamer – I imagine lion tamers as strong, confident and calm in the face of an angry beast. Guess what…Siegfried and Roy ain’t got nothing on me! Oh the tempers!
What talents do you wish you had that would be useful when taming toddlers?