How Having Children is Like Living in a Frat House

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How having children is like living in a Frat House Ray Romano said it best – having children is like living in a frat house. I have to say, you were spot on, Ray! But you’re missing a few points. No worries. Four years of college provided me with a lot of expertise in areas such as consoling a crying drunk person, convincing your annoying friend that jumping off “that” isn’t safe, and learning to always breathe through your mouth.

Somewhere between donning my cap and gown and watching the word “pregnant” pop up on that little white stick, these things became less fun. But alas, every day is now like being at a permanent frat party, which makes me more than qualified to expand on Mr. Romano’s list, don’t ya think?

Here are 10 more ways in which living with a toddler is like living in a frat house.

  1. Every wall is covered in stickers and “drawings”
  2. Mystery spots traverse the carpet
  3. Weird smells, that you have yet to identify, permeate the house
  4. There are piles of clothes everywhere and no one is quite sure who they belong to
  5. Partially nude people are passed out in random spots
  6. Most everything has been broken and duct taped back together
  7. There’s random bits of food everywhere
  8. The neighbors hate you
  9. There’s always “that” girl crying in a corner
  10. The couch contains more DNA than the average person

What would you add to this list?

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  1. hahahaha – love it and SO TRUE.

  2. “Partially nude people are passed out in random spots” -Yep! My youngest used to run around in his diaper with a blanket and pass out in a hallway.

  3. Food is most definitely everywhere when you have a toddler. I sweep my floors at least three times a day and each time my toddler has managed to rack up a small pile of food in random places on the floor

  4. LOL…yes duct tape is a clear sign for sure. Love this list. It has been a long time since I have had a toddler so my mind is drawing a blank. Thanks for the laugh.

  5. Too funny!

  6. This is awesome! And yes, we do have partially nude people passed out in random places of our house…and that nap time is the most cherished, blessed, few minutes that we treasure when ever it happens!

  7. Oh my goodness, I’m laughing so hard right now!!!! lol. That is all so true!!!!

  8. I am laughing so hard at this entire list! It is perfect!

  9. This is great. it made me laugh..

  10. LOL – I really enjoyed that. I don’t have kids and never was in a frat house (don’t think I missed anything since I don’t drink) – I do however run a daycare in my home so some of those points definitely apply in my home. LOL

  11. That’s great I love it.

  12. LOL!! I love this! Too funny!!!

  13. Random bits of food are all over our house and a lot of mysterious spots on the couch. I love the “that girl” crying in the corner LOL. So funny! Thanks for making me laugh!

  14. OMG, this is too perfect. I’d add “there’s usually someone staggering about the house” to the list.

  15. I love this post! lol

  16. so true I have stickers on tables and walls and drawings taped all over my walls and even my kitchen cabinet doors

  17. THAT girl… crying in the corner… is that mom or a kid? 🙂

  18. Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

    Oh thank goodness! I was a little worried for a while that I was the only one!

  19. Hee, hee, too funny!

  20. So true lol

  21. I read this out loud to my husband and it made us both smile this morning.

  22. HAHAHAHA!!! Sounds like a family gathering in my family, especially since the kids out number the adults.

  23. I used to work in student affairs…I had a live in position in residence life… and left that job to be a stay at home mom. I joked that nothing really changed expect that I stopped getting paid for all the same things that I used to do.

    • Momma on the Rocks Momma on the Rocks says:

      ha ha! I hear you!

    • Remember that…and raise your kids so that they don’t end up being “that kid” that drives another student affairs pro bananas. I said this to my friends this weekend as they were complaining about their toddler’s behavior. It’s understandable when they’re two, not when they’re 19.

  24. Jill byrd says:

    I have raised two toddlers, babysat other children in my home for 15 years and been in several frat houses and this list is spot on!!! I especially like the unknown odors comment.

  25. This was my FB status the other day after I spoke with my friend Vallere and I were talking this morning and have decided that having kids is like living in a frat house. Why you ask??? Well there is always someone running around w/o their clothes on someone is ALWAYS hungry, there are random empty food containers strew through out the house. You seem to be asking OK who peed on the floor. Did I mention the one running around naked……oh yes the bathroom is always dirty, and there is always that random smell no one can find or wants to own up too. That about sums it up.

  26. how funny. Thank you for this! I wanted to add a couple that happens in my house…or did when they were little. being called to the bathroom to look at poo in the toilet bowl. Mystery eating…you wonder just what they just picked up and put in their mouth because you know we don’t have cheerios in the house! random clothing appearing out of nowhere (usually underwear) and draped across the sofa when someone shows up and you have to quickly hide the red lacy panties that are on the back of the sofa….

  27. Hilarious! I love lists like these. And SO true!

  28. Angeleen says:

    Hahaha! I just got done cleaning throw-up off our couch and gave my son a bath and put him down for a nap and then came across this. Pretty sure it was destiny. I needed a pick-me-up from a fellow ‘frat house’ den mother. lol

  29. Heather says:

    I have felt this way since my first was able to walk. And I actually say it when I make a pass through the living room to pick up sippy cups and juice boxes. Not to mention the empty snack bowls everywhere!

  30. HAa… I came to this site reading a story , then off to the side what caught me eye… this page :/

    How you have articulated it spot on. As A single mother to four boys.
    I have always gave fare warning that if [ girlfriends, neighbors family etc. ]they entered its at their own risk, and if they gave to use the bathroom, use it before coming over … keep in mind Four boys.

    I have tears, from laughing… thank you.

  31. Omigosh — #5 and #9 — so funny!

  32. Yeah it is!!


  1. […] writing about how living with children is like living in a frat house, I got to thinking…taking care of a toddler is, in many ways, like dealing with a drunk […]

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