Forking Hilarious: and Some of the Crazy Things Kids Say

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 No matter how exasperating motherhood can be, sometimes you just have to take a step back and laugh. No one understands that better than NickMom, Nickelodeon’s brand new website dedicated to finding humor in everyday parenting situations. While you’re there, don’t forget to check out some of the “Mother Funny” things kids say on NickMom’s “Kids Say of the Day” page.

My little diva is well…a diva. From her silly songs to some of the things that come out of her mouth, she always has us in stitches. Not only is she funny, but she’s very friendly (often chatting up strangers in stores) and making friends wherever she goes. Her outgoing, fun personality make being her mommy an adventure for sure. She’s one part diva, one part princess and one part social butterfly with a pinch of sugar and (sometimes) a heaping spoonful of attitude. How can you not love this face?

princess #shop

How a princess wakes up in the morning

A lot of her funny antics surround food, since she loves to eat. Below, are some of my favorites photos of our little foodie – the first time she tried puffs (she was not a fan), blue cupcakes at her cousin’s birthday party (I know it’s hard to tell, but the icing was her favorite part), one of many meals she fell asleep during (a big meal will do that to a girl) and of course, the jumbo milk shake she was supposed to share with daddy (needless to say he had to get his own).nickmom #shopAs any parent will tell you (like the photo from NickMom below), going out to dinner with children – especially if they’re under the age of five – can be, well, unpredictable. On some outings, our three-year-old daughter is a perfect little angel. But only on some outings. Many times, it’s not her physical behavior that draws odd looks and snickers from those dining around us, but the words she uses during our frenzied meal.

More recently, I’ve been enduring my (un)fair share of NickMom-style crazy kid quotes when dining out. It doesn’t help that her “fork” sounds a lot like a certain taboo four-letter word. Which explains why we were mortified when we had the following conversation at our local Applebee’s just a few weeks ago:

ME: Honey, you need to use your fork when you eat your spaghetti.

THE DIVA: No, I like to use my fingers.

ME: Okay, but it’ll be a lot easier if you use a fork.

THE DIVA (raising her voice): NO! I DON’T WANT TO!

Cue stares from people around us.

ME: How about we just put the fork right here next to your plate.


Yikes. The exchange prompted me to sheepishly explain to the elderly couple sitting next to us that our angelic toddler said “fork” and not what they thought she said, but the damage was done. Needless to say, she ate her spaghetti with her hands for the remainder of the meal. (We really didn’t learn our lesson, because less than a week later, at Red Robin, she yelled “Give me the fork ‘n ketchup!”)

Mangled pronunciation isn’t the only thing she does that draws laughs. Like the time our future mad scientist said, “If you take off the horsey’s head and put on a cow’s head, it can moo!”

Or the time she walked into the bedroom while I was getting dressed, pointed to my nether region, and announced, “Mommy, your front butt is fuzzy!” Thankfully, I was the only one who heard that gem, but I prayed that she wouldn’t repeat it to friends and family.

Yes, kids say the darndest “mother funny” things. If yours does, you should definitely check out and its “Kids Say of the Day” page to laugh your forking butt off and take solace in knowing that you’re not alone. The website is full of hilarious videos, articles, games, and images (like the one below), for moms to enjoy after the kids have gone to bed! For more funny, follow NickMom on Twitter or Facebook, too!

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  1. Kids sure do have a mind of their own and will always say the darndest things. No matter how embarrassing it is for us.

  2. Omg this is hilarious!

  3. This post is SO FORKING FUNNY!!! What great stories! And don’t worry about your “front butt” – it is Movember so you don’t have to shave LOL GREAT POST & PICS

  4. love all of the pictures. I can relate so much to the graphic. Going out to eat with kids can be a nightmare at times.

  5. I participated in this campaign too! I talked about how we used to be drinkers and now can barely stomach one glass of wine! 😉 Kids certainly change things!

  6. hahaha this is too funny! I guess I’m going to have to give Madison a spoon from now on. No forks for her. 🙂

  7. Awww, how adorable are those pics?!

  8. OMG so funny!! Get the fork out of here!! LOL

  9. Alaina Bullock says:

    What a great post! Kids really do have a mind of their own, and will do and say whatever they feel like! I sometimes don’t know whether to hide form embarrassment or laugh!

  10. lol so true! Sometimes kids just say those things that make you want to crawl under the table! But you have to laugh because it s all innocent 🙂 Great post!

  11. Oh my goodness! That’s hilarious! My son’s only 18 months, so he doesn’t say that much yet. But he does love to say truck, so I’m sure his rendition of “fire truck” is coming soon… I’ve been warned that’s one that kids get mixed up easily!

  12. It was all just a cute little story until “GET THE FORK OUT OF HERE!!” Then it was HILARIOUS!!! Kind of like a baby version of the Devil Wears Prada, lol!!! So cute!

  13. You are right, kids do say the darnedest things. Oh but just wait until they are teens, the fun just keeps coming.

  14. I love the 3rd photo of her eating in her high chair. It looks like “This is NOT what I ordered, what IS this stuff?!”

  15. I am a parent too and i can relate, I smiled at the story. kids really their ways of making our life extra fun. and it’s cute and funny when they say things that sounded like big person. THanks for sharing

  16. Kids are so adorable but gosh yes, that comic is exactly right. Cute as they are, they need a lot of attention!!!!

  17. I checked out NickMom’s page and it has some adorable saying on it. “Mommy, wait up my legs are out of breath!” Oh my, how cute.

    And I laughed out loud at your one – THE DIVA (screaming): NO! GET THE FORK OUT OF HERE!

    I love it!

  18. So funny and so true:)

  19. Oh my gosh…this had me forking laughing! Very funny!

  20. I have lots of memories that make me giggle. One is where my younger brother (almost half my age) told someone “my sissy, she has a furble. it has no roof but she likes it.” He was referring to my car, LOL.

  21. Wow, I can so relate to this post! And um, I have totally had that front fuzzy comment – yes, luckily I was the only one around :).

  22. She is so cute. Adorable pictures.

  23. My son’s version of Truck was very similar. Needless to say we had quite a few stares.

  24. kids definitely say the darndest things!

  25. Chasity Boatman says:

    This is too funny!

  26. These are so funny! Kids are the best comedians 🙂

  27. This is so funny. I do NOT in any way shape or form miss this era in our lives. We’ve had more than our fair share of laughs and embarrassments in the last 20 years.

  28. Totally like a meal for us. Never fast enough, never good enough, etc… It can be quite trying. But looking at it from the outside – pretty funny.

  29. This is hysterical. Sounds like your daughter and mine would get along LOL. I love Nick Mom it’s hysterical.

  30. I think this is just part of our parenting stage of life. Because anyone with kids, guaranteed has had this or similar happen to them. I’m sorry its really embarrassing, but you’ll be laughing at it later in life.

  31. The words and sayings that come out of the mouths of babes are hilarious!

  32. I love what young kids come up with and say, so funny!

  33. OMG front butt….toooo funny! And I totally get it…my son is 4. 🙂

  34. My 3 year old makes us laugh all the time with the things she says!

  35. I love all the innocent things that kids say. Most of which if we as adults said them we would get in trouble.

  36. Seriously – kids are the BEST form of entertainment! 🙂

  37. I needed a laugh today, that story is too funny. Kids are so cute!

  38. ahhhh so cute! Thank you for giving me a giggle this morning.

  39. As mortifying as it probably was in the moment, it’s completely hilarious now!!!!! Love it!

  40. I love moments like this!! too funny!!

  41. Always try to write that stuff down! I’m always thinking, I’ll never forget that little gem, then it’s gone before it’s too late! However, I’ll never forget that the moon needs batteries, that one was years ago and it’s stuck in my mind. Fantastic how a child’s mind works!

  42. Kid’s really do say the funniest things sometimes. My son sure does. Like telling me he couldn’t get under my blanket because my big butt was in his way. I laughed with a shocked expression on my face. It was just too funny.

  43. Kids crack me up! You never know what comes out of their mouth. My kids keep me entertained and on my toes every single day 🙂

  44. Oh I completely understand this!

  45. Your little diva is adorable. I had to chuckle at the photo of her trying puffs. She’s like “seriously? No.. NOPE”

  46. WHEW! It’s refreshing to find out that my kids aren’t the only ones who make weird words sound like the f-bomb. My eldest used to call a truck that. So imagine the hilarity that ensued when we went to one of my dad’s fire stations (he was the fire chief at a college town in Florida). The fire fighters got a huge kick out of it. Luckily, not much embarrasses me. My dad on the other hand? Wanted to crawl under a rock. #client

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