A WOMAN SHATTERED (PART THREE)

I’m slowly getting back to my old self. It scares me to think where I would be if I hadn’t met Cate and didn’t have my husband there to hold my hand every step of the way (he really meant it when he vowed for better, for worse).

It has been a very rough journey. A journey that has certainly taken its toll on us, our marriage and our family. It makes me sad when I think about where I was ten months ago. I would’ve rather had two broken legs. Gladly. It would have been less paralyzing and painful.

I still struggle. I’m still afraid at times. I now understand what people mean when they say “rock bottom.” But I am able to live. I’m able to visit friends and family. I’m able to take a shower, an entire shower, in warm water. I’m able to play on the floor (gasp!) with my daughter. I’m able to live without that horrible fear in the pit of my stomach that something very, very terrible is about to happen. I’m able to enjoy the family I had always dreamed of.

We’ve come a long way and remain committed to getting our life back. If there’s a silver lining in this journey, a journey that almost cost me my family, marriage and my life, it’s that through these struggles I’ve been able to help others dealing with some of the same issues and hopefully can continue to do so.

A WOMAN SHATTERED (PART ONE)

A WOMAN SHATTERED (PART TWO)

A WOMAN SHATTERED (PART THREE)

A WOMAN SHATTERED (PICKING UP THE PIECES)

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Comments

  1. I’m so sorry, you’ve had to deal with this, Shanna! I can’t even really begin to understand, but I can feel your pain and am glad you found help! Thanks for sharing your story!

  2. You’re amazingly brave for sharing your story. I know that women who read this will be inspired by your recovery.I have had some similar issues but not sure how I want to share it yet. Thank you for your honesty.

  3. This is so brave and so, so needed. I’m glad you’re on the road to getting back your life, and that you’re able to help others along the way.

  4. I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself. I had … simple? regular? adjectives are failing me here PPD, and I still struggled to get help from my FEMALE OB. I hated that woman so much. And by the time I finally got what I needed, I had reached the point where, if she had blown me off one more time, I just wouldn’t have gone back. And I have no idea what would have happened then. None. And that terrifies me. I’m so glad you found Cate and that she was able to help you keep reaching out, that you got a doctor who would HELP instead of patronizing you. I’m so glad you can enjoy your little girl.

    • Momma on the Rocks momma on the rocks says:

      I don’t think there is such a thing as simple PPD. Any struggles are still struggles and I’m so glad to hear you were able to get the help you needed. It’s unfortunate that a lot of OBs aren’t more attuned to postpartum issues. They really need to have a better screening process. hugs

  5. You are so strong! xo

  6. Amazing! Thanks for sharing your story and so sorry you had to go through that. I think you’re doing something awesome by sharing your story even though it has to be hard to do! Kudos.

  7. Thank you for sharing your story! Dealt with similar feelings for months after my daughter was born…. the random moments of pure panic over something minor are so awful. Hope others read this that need help, and go get it.

  8. Thank you for sharing. I pray everything will continue to get better.

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